Ayelet Waldman’s 6 favorite books about missed chances

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Ayelet Waldman is the author of the best-selling memoir Bad Mother and of the novels Daughter’s Keeper and Love and Other Impossible Pursuits. In A Perfect Hand, her novel to be published on May 19, a lady’s maid in 19th-century England falls for a valet. Below, Waldman shares her six favorite books about missed opportunities and remorse.

‘Persuasion’ by Jane Austen (1817)

Persuasion is my favorite of Jane Austen’s novels, though we have been informed sternly by no less a luminary than Nabokov that Mansfield Park is the “greatest,” whatever that means. Though Anne Elliot could be accused of being retiring and easily manipulated, there is an element of steel in her character that I love. Also, the book is about longing and regret, and in looking at this list I see that these are emotions I seem obsessed with. Buy it here.

‘Atonement’ by Ian McEwan (2001)

This is also a book about regret, and about shame. It is, like Persuasion, about the need to rewrite history, to expiate one’s mistakes. Buy it here.

‘Old Filth’ by Jane Gardam (2004)

Here’s another favorite, also permeated by regret! The hero (such as he is) looks back on a painful childhood and a life characterized in no small part by disappointment. Though he is a successful barrister and judge, Sir Edward Feathers’ nickname, derived from “Failed In London Try Hong Kong,” sums up his life: This book, though melancholic, is leavened by Gardam’s mordant wit. Buy it here.

‘Shakespeare’s Kitchen’ by Lore Segal (2007)

I’ve seen Shakespeare’s Kitchen described as an academic send-up, a comedy of manners, and it is, but Segal’s collection of interlocked stories is also a book about loneliness, told with subtle (and not so subtle) humor. Buy it here.

‘Sorrow and Bliss’ by Meg Mason (2020)

I would not have picked up Sorrow and Bliss but for the recommendation of author Ann Patchett. It is one of the funniest and one of the saddest books I’ve read in a long time. It’s about the way we defeat ourselves in love, and about the exhaustion of dealing with mental illness, something I can relate to all too well. Buy it here.

‘The Remains of the Day’ by Kazuo Ishiguro (1989)

How could a list of books about missed chances and self-defeat be complete without The Remains of the Day? Every time I reread this novel, I find myself in a frustrated (yet delighted) fury about how Stevens was so determined to sabotage any chance of happiness that he couldn’t even allow himself to imagine a future with Miss Kenton. Buy it here.